I'm tired.
I hate it when i have to pretend that everything's okay. I hate to have to crack a joke, sing a song out loud, do silly things just to let people know i'm fine.
I'm not fine. I'm sick of trying to make it look like i'm alright. But if i don't do it, then things will be worse. So i'm stuck in this limbo that is slowly wearing me down.
This is the reason why i came back from Brissy. This is why i always envy those who get to migrate and live another life elsewhere. Because i simply cannot. I love Brissy but I have to be here to ensure that things are okay. And i just wish that when people ask me why i did not choose to stay in Brissy i could tell them the truth.
Sometimes i just want people to appreciate all this fakeness that i have to put on. It's really emotionally tiring. I just want to cry. But i'm afraid to tell people because i don't want them to judge this situation. I want to crawl into a corner, talk to myself (and God) and just cry my heart out.
Smiling has never been so painful.
I hate it when i have to pretend that everything's okay. I hate to have to crack a joke, sing a song out loud, do silly things just to let people know i'm fine.
I'm not fine. I'm sick of trying to make it look like i'm alright. But if i don't do it, then things will be worse. So i'm stuck in this limbo that is slowly wearing me down.
This is the reason why i came back from Brissy. This is why i always envy those who get to migrate and live another life elsewhere. Because i simply cannot. I love Brissy but I have to be here to ensure that things are okay. And i just wish that when people ask me why i did not choose to stay in Brissy i could tell them the truth.
Sometimes i just want people to appreciate all this fakeness that i have to put on. It's really emotionally tiring. I just want to cry. But i'm afraid to tell people because i don't want them to judge this situation. I want to crawl into a corner, talk to myself (and God) and just cry my heart out.
Smiling has never been so painful.
3 comments:
Girl (or woman?), it's always okay and normal to cry and have yourself a moment. To be honest, I do that quite often. But remember, when you think you're all alone and feeling ridiculous, there are always our friends and family being there for us. :) take care.
" Truth Heals. Denial Hurts." -Chris Crocker.
Gleam - Tell me about it! But this whole hoohah involves people who rather ignore than confront the problem. I'm just a bystander who wants things to be okay...
Post a Comment