Men, Listen Up

Here five are ways to scare away and destroy what little friendship you have with a girl you just barely got to know:

Instead of the usual 'hi' or 'hello', begin a conversation by telling her to hold your hand.

Call her a few hours after she gives you her mobile number. Then a few seconds or a minute into the conversation, tell her you need to hang up and say that you'll call back. Repeat this several times.

If she does not pick up the phone, call her a few more times in one day, just to try your luck. It is okay to also call her after midnight on a weekend.

In your first phone conversation with her, tell her to marry you. Emphasise this point by repeating it several times. Do not forget to also tell her to speak to you in a sexy voice. To really hit the nail on its head, criticise her looks by saying "Do you know how you can be a good wife and daughter? You should [insert criticism here]". For example, try "You shouldn't wear glasses. You should wear contacts".

Do not ask her out for dinner. TELL her to have dinner with you.

Something Good

So apparently, it rains EVERY Good Friday. Long story short, Mabel lost a bet and had to stomach a family-made concoction made of tom yum soup, a few drops of Coke, rice, a dumpling, yam ice cream, a mashed osyter, and coconut shavings. It smelt like food that has been kept at the back of a fridge for a long, long time. The interesting part of the story? She did not fall sick the next day.

The woman who has an obsession with John Travolta came back for a holiday...and continued to live up to the silly image i know her for. She brought a packet of Macadamia nuts home for me, kept it in the bag throughout our entire outing, and left with it. Fail.

Current fashion obsessions: maxi skirts and sheer tops. Super excited on finding a comfy skirt that doesn't make me look like i spent my whole week indulging in buffets.

Funny thing happened prior to my chat with Archie of The Good Wife. That morning, i took the effort to put on my jeans, find a decent blouse to wear, and slip into my wedges for the interview. And what did my PR friend, Berenice, say after checking out my outfit? "Wah, so casual no need to go to work today ah?".

Spent a weekend night in with friends and what did i take away from the night? Karen spends way too much time on her Michael Jackson wii game. Joyce's idea of the perfect salad is anything served with sesame salad dressing. Weng uses way too many 'dey' in his conversations. Victor needs something else besides checkered shirts. TK will be the first person to introduce a 'joint venture' option in Monopoly Deal. I have the useless ability to remember all the families in Happy Family.

Think Happy Thoughts

"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here, we should dance"

A recap at the little things that made my life beautiful in the past few months:



The launch of Disney Junior is possible the cutest channel launch I've been to so far. There were colour pencils, crayons and drawings for us to colour. Not surprisingly, i was the only adult in the room who did any colouring! Then there was the performance by toddlers, including one who was more interested in the TV stand than the audiences. Cuteness maximus.

Received a deer necklace from Karen on a day when i was, coincidentally, wearing my fave deer tee. And the day i decided to wear the necklace, was the day one of the antlers broke. So now i have a disabled deer hanging from my neck.

Discovered the beauty that is F&F from Tesco. Them tights are tight! If i have enough of boots and tights, I would rock the look everyday no matter how many times i've had people come up to me and say, "Wear boots not hot ah?".

Pa managed to find me fresh, raw lotus seeds! Beneath the ugly exterior, layers of skin that need to be peeled, and a bitter bud that should be removed are lotus seeds that can take over kuaci's place as the perfect fat-free TV snack.